A SERIOUS THOUGHTS

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

8:46:02 PM

Ne… I have thoughts lately…

Serious thoughts.

I always think that I never found what I really want to be…

I’m like a baby inside a womb that wants to see the world.

I know I can’t found this world coz I’m still inside,, and I find nothing but darkness. I can’t see anything I want to see and I want to feel.

It’s from the small things;

“ I don’t want to go to college… but why I have to?”

“I don’t like economics… but why I had to study?”

“why people had to study hard to be success in life?”

“do we live in this world to be gain success, fame and money?”

“why I have to say things I don’t want to say?”

“why I have to sleep at night and wake up in the morning?”

Then it comes to this question in the end…

“who said that I have to do those things I don’t want to do?”

Then I saw people in this world… most of them live in routines… wake up in the morning, go to work, study, socialize, spend so many times in the traffic jam, go home, tired, and go get some sleep, then woke up again…

Why that happened?

Where is our freedom?

I don’t want to be like them. That’s not living.

That’s walking robots that are made to make money.

Why do people live in a system that human themselves made?

-you have to study hard to be success-

Why? What is success for?

-you have to obey the rules-

why? Don’t human has hearts? We have to obey the rules to differ good and bad? Isn’t that only made our feelings dull and wry?

And why… I’m still living in this kind of living?

Then my parents come to the scene.

They’re my obstacles…

But not because I hate them, it’s because I love and think about them I’m still here,

And because I grown up in this kind situation and be raised inside it and become dependent to this system.

Then when I said these thoughts… the answer I got is;

“God… just think rationally! Be logical!”

Then this question comes again;

“Be logical? Why? Is human live to think rationally? Logically? Didn’t human created to feel? To love? To imagine?

It’s not I’m saying that think rationally is bad, but to ALWAYS think rationally is just so…

Not human.

The when a human think not rationally, people started to uncertain about their sanity.

But they themselves, who live in a cage they made on their own, thinking they’re sane.

A bird that flying freely in the air is an insane bird

And a bird that locked themselves inside the cage is a sane one.

I wonder who’s sane and insane.

I saw those lights on the streets…

They’re beautiful… but still… they’re seemed fake.

And when I saw the droplets of rain falls inside my palm, I started to wonder…

Until when nature smiles to us?

With everything we’ve done?

Those tall buildings… they overlord us all. They’re fake, and it seemed like human enjoy living in facade.

And maybe I do too.

But at least… I can think about this, and I’m thankful that I’m still sane…

And I want to be born and see the world.

~Juwd~