History in finding Pura and Ryutarou

Monday, April 02, 2007

7:27:43 PM

Now I’m being noisy, writing and writing again…

After I saw him, I think everything will never be the same again.

Lately I think… I’ve act beyond my rational mind.

I don’t have internet connection at home so I have to go to int.café that cost me A LOT to find his pics and download their PVs… and I even planning to build a site for him that’ll cost a lot of money and time too… but I never really think about that seriously, even I lost all my money. I only saw it as an duty that I must do for him. I don’t know why. I’m just being so irrational.

Then I waste my full time in home playing his voice for 24hours… I’ve tried to overcame this and I’m succeed, but I always felt most at ease when his voice played. I felt I’m living when he sings.

OMG what’s with his voice???? Why I love it so much and I think I can’t live without it??? why????

And in my country, CD Piracy is out of question. They’re everywhere and when they caught, they just solve everything by money. And since our living cost compared to another country is very high, buying an original CD is almost impossible for average-college-student-who’s-not-working-yet-coz-her-parents-ask-her-to-study-well-1^st-and-she’s-sick-of-studying-either LIKE ME… so there are many stores who pirate Japanese Stars and sell them… and maybe half of Japanese freaks in Indonesia know Anime, JRock or Jpop from burned CDs, VCDs and DVDs 1^st… I know Pura from a burned compilation of Jrock PVs… ~_~;

Ahem… the point is… just when I heard 12songs of Pura from burned CD compilation:

Planetarium

Hontou no uso

Akai Kutsu

Gerbera

Angelfish

Sangatsu Itsuka

Honjitsu wa Seiten nari

Baka Ni Natta Noni

Psycho Garden

Snow Flower

Yuki Hotaru

Uwa no Sora

And 3 PVs:

Melancholic

Mizuiro Girlfriend

Aoi Tori

I yell in my room all alone that I’ll save my money and order their Original CD!!!! 0^o^0

I mean… I’ve never do that before coz the fact is: I don’t have money. But this time my love conquered it all. They deserved the best for their music…

So I started to buy KuroTent2-still pirated VCD- to know more about them and I just love Ryutarou so much more. But I SWEAR I’ll order the original! Then I download their albums and CDs coz I think I’ll die if I don’t have more of them which COST ME SO MUCH….

Then again, when I received my money for a week from my mom :

150.000 rupiahs, about 17 US$ or 1500 yen…

The 1^st thing across my mind when the money touches my hand is to rush to the mall and made a custom-made bracelet with Ryutarou’s name, which cost about 800yen.

I must be crazy.

Let me tell you the story from the very beginning…

I spent my time at the bookstore and when I’m walking out there’s a small stall to make a custom-made bracelet with names on it…. actuallt that stall already there for about 5 years and I’ve known about it and walk pas it about the 12^th time in my life but this is the 1^st time I stop there and ask about the price and all (I spent about 20minutes to asking only ^^;) then I started to calculate if I buy the very pretty light blue colored basic bracelet which cost 300yen with R_Y_U_T_A_R_O name on it, which cost 55yen a letter, so the total is 685yen, added with about 100yen more for additional accessories…

And I’m thinking about it for 2weeks until now.. like ‘I want that bracelet’ …. That’s scary. Not because that pretty bracelet, but the RYUTARO name on it… I’ll be so happy when his name’s on my wrist and being one with my vein pulse….

Gah. I’m such a maniac.

But I think it’s different… not the kind of maniac thing… but it is softer like your heart gets warm when you saw his name there and made you smile… that kind of feeling…I’ve never wanted an object so badly in my life and thinking about it for 2 weeks straight… this is the very 1^st time.

So I think I’ll do it. I’ll make that bracelet with all of the money I have.

Have you ever felt so frustrated that you love someone that much but to have him is VERY impossible, and when you tried to get him out of your head you just can’t?

That’s not fair…

The point is… I’m sad that I missed so much about him and Pura… but I try to write what I feel and still learning… from you, my senior Kurages ^^

~Juwd~