His voice help me to understand life better

Monday, April 02, 2007

6:53:51 PM

Listening to Suimin Yaku over and over again rite now and just can’t get enough of the beauty of Tarou-san’s voice… I can just go on and on

BUT

My real problem is I have a task for tomorrow and I’m not doing anything yet. I took a major in Economy Management and I’ve never felt such a burden before but now… I felt like I won’t do it at all. I’ve always do my tasks before, but now… everything seemed different. I’ve read that many people change the way they live after listen to Tarou’s voice, and now I think it start to work on me too.

After hearing his voice, I spent my times to think. Even I’m not doing anything, I think about everything. And about my future too, without I realized. After hearing his voice for weeks, I started to think what my true goals in life… and I got an answer : to do a work that doing something precious to other people, and to know more about this world. At 1^st I’m thinking abut social jobs, but I’m not the type of person who can easily letting go pretty things and I have to buy it with sufficient money, so… then travel guide pop up in my head. I want to be a travel guide… I can see the world and capture so many things with my eyes and my camera, and brings people to beautiful places and see happiness on their faces.

But then again, my mom not agree with my decision. Grh. Then about language… I’ve found out that I’m the sucks at working under pressure OR studying under pressure so I love to learn language by autodidact. As a result… I’ve never took English course… but you see my English… good or bad…? Bad…? T_T

I should’ve took major I art or design… I really took a wrong way in life and I’m 1 now… I’m not young anymore. Grr.. I shouldn’t obey my parents so much.

Now when I think again… my TRUE goal is:

To live in beautiful place, live a peaceful life with uncomplicated job but I love it so much, a kind husband and lovely kids.

Do I hope too much?

I’ve never imagine to be really rich, and I don’t want that to happen too, coz I think being rich is tiring and full of lies…. And sent me straight to hell coz the temptation is HUGE. ^^;

So I wonder… if I continue to study Japanese language then go there, took an easy job then rent a small but comfortable room, saving my money… wouldn’t that be beautiful? It didn’t have to be Japan… some country with English language will be nice too… ahh… sometimes I think… I have to make an extreme pace to change my life. For example… I’m sure I don’t have enough bravery to go there on my own, but if I’ve never do it, I’ll stuck in here forever. I live only once, and I’m not gonna stuck in things I don’t like. I want to find my own way of living.

But then again.. how about my parents?

Hhh… there’re so many things to think about, but the 1^st thing I have to think about is MY FUCKIN TASK FOR TOMORROW

Grrr…. I felt like just burn down my College so I have reason not to go there.

~Juwd~