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~Juwd~

Plastic Tree

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Arimura Ryutarou

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The Most Lonely Eyes I’ve ever seen

WARNING:
all posts in Sentimental Pot is my obsession about Ryutarou so if you hate extreme things you better not read coz i can get too sappy ^^;

Tuesday, April 17, 2007
9:41:41 PM


I’ve just realized what suck me straight into his eyes since the 1st time I saw him…
At first I think because it is hypnotizing, deep and dreamy…
Those are true, but the most important thing is: they always looked so lonely.



These just examples…
But I find it in every pictures of him…
When I turn off the lights and stare into his eyes…
I found his loneliness,
Then I found mine.
I’m sure everyone has lonely side deep inside their heart
Where everyone become themselves to the full…
Only alone.
And when our loneliness met, it’s just felt so beautiful.
It felt like he’s the only one in this world who understands…
If I came across a person with this kind of eyes in the street…
I think it’s enough to stop my pace and stare at them…
I dunno I just have something with peoples’ eyes…
Even he hide it with his bangs… even when he smiles…
Those eyes stay still…
As lonely as always.
And now when I think again…
That loneliness is everywhere…
Of course in his voice too
And I think that what makes me so comfortable
And make me want to be myself and out from my routines that tied me up
And what other’s thinking about me…
That voice and eyes that encourage me to find what I REALLY want in life
That brings the outer and inside part of me
Sitting together and chat while they’ve never know each other before.
And I wouldn’t be surprised if they two are sooo different from each other.
When I saw old peoples…
I always felt pity…
I know this oji-san in my campus…
He always walking around brings a box of orange and tried to sell it to us.
It’s that kind of eyes…
Seemed so far and lonely and always stabbed my heart.


~Juwd~

Ryutarou is MARRIED!!??

Friday, April 13, 2007 - the date is kinda spooky.... O_O
19:41


Check out the golden and plain ring on his rite hand…



That really looked like a wedding ring to meee…..T___T



It’s there in Harusaki too… I’m not aware of it coz he used it along eith other rings… but in Club Dam when he’s not wearing the other… it’s still there on his rite hand.hrmmm…
Whatever.
I dun care whether he’s married or not…
I can just pretend he isn’t.
^___________________________________^

~Juwd~

Club Dam SPICA comment

Tarou was like… spacing out… looking elsewhere… gosh his lips are so… pretty!!! =3



To be honest, I hate his new hair coz it covers all over his face… he bow and turn his head when he laughs… so we can only see his nose…



Ahhh.. Tadashi is so cute he’s like showing off his teeth arg I can’t see the smiling tarou again…



Again… and again… T_T



Omg what with that ring!!!??? Is he MARRIED!!??
Low let’s change topic…

~Juwd~

Tadashi’s dream and Monochrome Ryutarou

Friday, April 13, 2007
6:48:11 PM

I had dream about Tadashi 2 days ago… =3

It’s like he’s in my campus and being a very whiz kid so everyone adores him and so do I ^^;
I was like screaming when he’s walking in front of me so kakkoily and write in my diary about him… then when I’m writing he sitting at my left, I was like ‘Gyaah!’ closed my diary and he’s like …’huh!!?’ then he started chatting with my friends…

It must be because club dam comment I watched… he’s soooo handsome in there… his cheek is not thin anymore… and he looked so yasashii… but Tarou-san still the 1st for me, of course… =3
Oh yeah.. and lately I found that nothing else find to play on my player except Kuro tent 2 that I had watched for over 30 times… I swear I’m not lying I played it for a whole day, over and over again and let it flow while I’m doing something else… I tried to watch HEROES but it’s not fun anymore…I dunno what’s going on with me… I’m just… obsessed.

Few days ago I saw a monochrome calendar … then I ask to myself… who’s going to buy this?? But when I look deeper… I think monochrome is… more imaginative.
It let you wondering about what the real color is… whether the sky is blue, pruple or orange… that kind of feeling.

And I think monochrome resembles Ryutarou perfectly. Everyone who saw him will wonder what he’s really like… what his true colors are. He’s as beautiful as a painting that hide thousands of color inside… and that just kept me wondering forever. I can’t stop thinking when I saw him in lives or in pictures… like these;

I just kept on wondering… what he’s thinking? Why he’s so sad? Even when he smiles? Why it looked like he’s smiling to himself? Is he smiling or not? Why he seemed like holding back tears? And sometimes… he’s just like an empty canvas. Hhhh……..

~Juwd~

PUPPET SHOW ALBUM REVIEW

02 May Day

-Tadashi,Ryutaro-

I like this song. *loss for words* I just like it, nothing more. Tarou’s voice is so soft for a rock song like this but it is unique indeed.

03 Reset

-Tadashi, Ryutaro-

I love the ‘byebyebye’ and ‘oh yeah’ part… but I don’t like this kind of song that much….

04 Zetsubou no Oka

-Tadashi, Ryutaro-

Have a great feeling since the very beginning, and I was right… this song is so beautiful and give a peaceful feeling like enjoying life peacefully and such… the 8 seconds ‘Uuuu----------‘ part in the end is pure BLISS and sent me straight to heaven ~~~~

05 Gentou Kikai

-Tadashi, Ryutaro-

The opening reminds me a lot of china, then Arabian….yes. Arabian guitar. Huh? I can’t enjoy this song… it’s kinda flat…. I’m bored.

06 Nukegara

-Ryuu,Tarou-

Aahh this song is so Ryutaro ^^ it is like he’s singing what he writes in his diary…but it is sleepy? Whoahh… he suddenly screams >.< style=""> I imagine Tarou beg him, puppy-eyed ‘Dashi I want to make a song too, pleaseee??? Only one, pleaseee???’ >///<~

07 Hontou no Uso

-Tadashi, Ryutaro-

I think this song is rather good for this album but it remind me a lot to Larc… but thanx to Tarou’s voice it is different … but the fact stays the same… I don’t like this song so much….

08 Monophobia

-Tadashi, Ryutaro-

Ahaha… got sleepy then slapped by The sudden change of pace X_X but I like it! it’s great… esp when Tarou screams…. *going panic* ‘Yeargghhh!’ ^^ unexpectedly short too…

09 Cream

-Tadashi, Ryutaro-

Hey Tarou’s voice is different… it’s happy ^O^ but then again it is too ordinary…

10 Sangatsu Itsuka

-Tadashi, Ryutaro-

I love when he whispers… *got shivers* then he screams … I always scream along with him and that made me felt better ^.^~ and he said ‘Yatta na’ so flatly… ahahaha…. It’s just like he’s being unhappy to other’s fortune… I LOVE THIS SONG and when he’s ‘ah ah ah’ along with the guitar…. YAAAYYAYAYAYAYA!!!! And the guitar is GREAT!!! Love it so much!!!

11 Circus

-Tadashi, Ryutaro-

Hey love the guitar…. And the way Tarou sings…. It put me in trance…. It is like an other version of Kuchuu Buranko oh I love it…

PARADE ALBUM REVIEW

01 Ether

-Tadashi, Ryutaro-

This song gave a nice feeling, peaceful, but happy at the same time, and I love it so much when Tarou spells ‘Day…’ it is so dreamy, and made me wonder what will happen today ^^ the guitar is sooo…. Nice.

02 Rocket

-Tadashi, Ryutaro-

This track’ll give you smile on your lips every time you heard it ^.^ especially the front part… Tarou’s voice is sooo beautiful… and a lot of falsettos too… aahhh love this song… and the long ‘aaaaaa…’ too… ‘ahhh…’ ^///^ and it gives me a very very happy ending. *grins*

03 Slide

-Tadashi, Ryutaro-

I laugh the 1^st time I heard his voice… it is so….. Womanly. I already like this song so much coz I saw it 1^st in Shoegazer live, and Tarou sings it energetically there. So listening the original version, I’m not so happy. BUT IT IS A GREAT SONG no matter what! O_o the bass is kept on rolling and made want to roll my head along with it ^^;

04 Shoujo Kyousou

-Tadashi, Ryutaro-

So psychotic… but I love the way he screamed from ‘Barabara…’ haha… so this is the song which Tarou watch TV from under the table…? So cute ^.^ the way he’s ‘hahaha’-ing gave me shivers… the ‘last NAZE part’ made me laugh, and his soft growls too….

05 Veranda

-Tadashi, Ryutaro-

Hmmm? I heard this guitar before? Nice chorus! It made you smile… but too bad except the chorus part, the other’s kinda boring… and I think the timing is not so right when Tarou said ‘Matteru…’

06 Kuuhaku no Hi

-Ryuu,Tarou-

At last! Tarou’s song! Let’s find out what it’s like! *gettingallexcited* I LOVE THE LYRICS. Seriously… I picture him sang it inside his heart to the sky on the rooftop *slapmyself* the chorus part is soooo emotional… I left marks in your heart…. Hhhh…. And the way he said ‘desu’ at the end hears so desperate…

07 Juujiro

-Ryuu,Tarou-

I hate this song the 1^st time I heard it, but since it is Tarou’s song… *listening once again* Tarou’s getting angry … OMG… *scared* but I seemed like he’s angry to himself then going calm….then angry again…. This song is not bad actually… but it is SO DEPRESSING… but the way he sing ‘Hashiru----arrrggh’ *nosebleed*

08 Tremolo

-Ryuu,Tarou-

This is an ordinary and mild song… the best part maybe only ‘hayaku hayaku’ I don’t care much about the other….

09 Suimin Yaku

-Tadashi, Ryutaro-

Ahhhhh… since the 1^st time Tarou’s voice rolling in I know I’ll love this song so much….it is so soft and melodic…. And you’ll find your eyes shut and seeping it into your heart… HAIL TO LORD DASHI m(_ _)m I felt like Tarou’s whispering his voice to win my heart ©__©~ YES MY ANSWER IS YESS!!! O///o; AHHHH I LOVE THIS SONG!!!!! Hhhhh…..

10 Bloom

-Tadashi, dashi-

Whoa… I imagine myself walking inside a train station jam packed with people before working time… O_o I can’t put myself into liking this song…. It’s just too ordinary…

11 Sink (ver.2.0)

-Tadashi, Ryutaro-

I’ll always love this song and I bet all of Kurage will to… this song is like… whenever I imagine Plastic Tree, or the old plastic tree, this song came popping out in my head. ‘Nanimo Shiranai…’ had always played randomly in my brain and I’ll sing along… maybe forever. Tarou heard so soft and fragile… when he said ‘Nee…’ I was like… *listening closely* ^^; and the famous ‘Shizunde Shizunde Shizunde Shizunde bai bai….’

IT__T”

12 Soshite Parade wa Tsuzuku

-Tadashi, Ryutaro-

Gaaahhh I love the chorus so much… it is so sweet…it is like “we’ll continue making great songs so be our fans always” ^^

CHANDELIER Album review

01 Hatred, Dip It

Lyrics&music : tadashi

OMG I love it!!! Taro’s drunk when he sang it! but to be honest… it reminds me of Linkin Park with those swishing thing… *swishswish* ^^; I always close my eyes to seep Taro’s voice in and sang along… wow Dashi created something good again!! m(__)m! the ‘haroo harooo haroo’ part is also… grr… *goosebumps*… the guitar made me bang my head…!!! I love it love it love it!!!

02 Naizou Mic

lyrics: ryutaro

music: tadashi

It heard like other jrock bands… like… Alice Nine…?? No. Nightmare…? I’m not comparing Plastic Tree to them… I’m not stupid enough to do that… it’s just remind me of them… imagining Tarou dance when he sings this is too cute ^///^ Anyhow… I LIKE IT. Especially the chorus part and Akira’s guitar solo…WHOOAAA!!! w(^_^)w m(_ _)m w(^_^)w m(_ _)m w(^_^)w m(_ _)m

03 Namida Drop

I found the title is kind of odd… Namida Drop? It’s so sappy…and the song is sappy, easy listening …. But it’s good to hear in the morning to make me a little lighthearted to start the day. The odd thing is; the song is happy then I’m going all happy too, but when Tarou said ‘sayonara’ my mood came back down in instance *stopsdancing*

04 Ghost

lyrics: akira

music: akira

*Remove everything in radius 3meters*, got ready to headbang like crazy. The opening of this song is SO TRICKY. Damn. It’s like pure sweetness then it struck my ear like a brick. OMG I LOVE THIS SONG I LOVE IT I LOVE IT AND I CAN’T STOP SCREAMING UNTIL I WOKE MY NEIGHBOR UP at last I have Akira’s song which I really like…. AND I LIKE IT SO MUCH I NEVER BANG MY HEAD SO HARD BEFOFRE and the way Taro’s sings it too… it’s just so….ARGH!! Tarou you’re my Gawd!!! ‘mou nanimo ienai’ WINS IT ALL!!!! It take my 100 meters from earth onto the space…. LOVEEE!!! Oh and the PV… the head mosh Taro does is always made me laugh I tried to mimic him and then laugh harder… MWAHAHAHA!!!… it was like ‘you’re not hardcore enough… that’s not a headbang!! ^^’ but the weird thing is that suits him and the PV too!! I’m just started to confused myself O_o I heard this song the 1^st time in my internet café in you tube… and I just headbang there! Seriously… and it got camera so maybe they laugh at me downstairs… fuck. Whatever. The ending lyrics heard like ‘SURRENDER!!’ yes… I’ll surrender rite now!! W||O_O||W

05 Puppet Talk

lyrics: akira

music: akira

I’m hoping for something angst from the Title, but this one heard like one of Hyde would write at the beginning… but oh nonononono it is muchmuchmuch better and not like hyde at all… noooo!. A great song for headbang too! YEAH! and lift your mood up!! Maybe Tarou talk to his puppet while dancing around?? O_o|| or… not THAT kind of puppet? waaaiii Akira’s composition is sooo good in this album!!! m(_ _)m

06 Namae No Nai Hana

lyrics: ryutaro

music: tadashi

Again… so happy, isn’t it? I love the guitar and bass here, but dunno why I don’t like the song all that much… it is hard to remember… maybe … lack of uniqueness?

07 37°C

Huuh? A slow song? oohhh the way he sing ‘sasayaite’ and ‘samenaide’ is so sweet… maybe it’s Tarou’s song? It seemed like it… but not too melancholy… maybe Akira’s? it just give a peaceful feel….

08 Cage for Rent

lyrics: akira

music: akira

Again? Slow? This song has a unique sweetness, like remembering something 10 years ago… and the longer you heard it, the better it become. I love the falsetto part… I think I love it so much…and I wonder why Akira being so melancholy… maybe Taro had infected him ^^; eh… ‘tegami o kakuyo?’ it heard like something Taro would write? But the lyric is Akira’s…??? O_o

09 Sanbika

lyrics: ryutaro

music: ryutaro

Aaahhhhh love for the guitar…. It got me dance around!!! Now my eyes are open 100% O_O the chorus is also nice….. nice one, Taro… and he looked so cute in PV too =3 It lightens my mood and relaxing… love it!

10 Sentiment Machine

lyrics: tadashi

music: tadashi

Huh? What happened to Taro’s voice?? It’s so different!!! It’s not thin anymore…it’s different… *here it goes again* maybe coz it is louder… I don’t like this song so much…same with Namae No Nai Hana, I think it lacked of uniqueness…

11 Kuchuu Buranko

lyrics: ryutaro

music: tadashi

My I got shivers when I heard this coz the aura and world it’s created… and the drums too… so beautiful… I love it so much… I think all Pura’s songs is like this… creating it’s own dream world and suck us in! Taro’s voice is so… dreamy… when I closed my eyes it can really touch my skin *gotshivers* and he’s so frickin’ handsome and mysterious in the PV… gawd… he’s already an enigma and with mask… *dies*

12 Last Waltz

lyrics: ryutaro

music: tadashi

To be honest, I hate the opening of this song. Hate it so much until I want to turn all off… but when Taro’s sweet voice rolling in… I don’t have a heart to turn it off…because I HATE JAZZ SO MUCH and the bass is soooo jazz…..but overall it is so romantic and sweet… I imagining a ballroom dance when tarou sings but then the jazzy line come over and my vision just got blurred and disappears… grrr… *kick* but Taro’s voice calmed me down again… hh… I’m so tired to hear this song…getting angry then smiling then angry again…

13 Rokugatsu Ame (Amefuri mix)

This song has a light feeling…. A very light feeling. The pictures in my mind is the drizzling rain in a bright sunny day… so everything is fresh born anew… the funny thing is Taro’s sings heard a bit playful like you met him on the street after the rain than he poke and smiled then chat about random things… or maybe I'm just too imaginative ^^; and the ending… I just think ‘is this a different song…??’

CELL album review

01 Cell

lyrics: ryutaro

music: akira

I had a good feeling when the bass played, the intro just make me wanna dance along with Dashi ^^ and Ryutaro sings… a bit psychotic but also energetic at the chorus. Ahhh… the bass is so… fun! And the haunting guitar…I love it. The chorus is great and catches my attention in instance. I think it has some changing pace of beat, which is weird but also good O_o…. very fun to get things started..!!

02 Melancholic

Music & lyric : Ryutaro

This song is on top of my list for Pura’s song, and had many sweet memories. This song had take me into Pura deeply when I’m down and love them since then^^ Tarou’s feeling really expressed well, the guitar, bass and drums… all seemed simple but blend perfectly with the song…. and this song creates a very emotional world for me to came in, especially the PV… I just want to lay down in that dream box and never wake up again… -now I’m being melancholic- I’m being emotional all over when sing along with this song and few times I cried… I dunno why… I just cried. And a very addictive song indeed… I found myself played this song over and over again for 24hours… seriously… and I still love it until now.

03 Harusaki Sentimental

Lyrics & music : ryutaro

Hrrrmm… I dunno what’s wrong with this song, maybe because he sings it too fast like reading a speech, so I didn’t got Tarou’s feeling and emotion the first time I heard it. It is good… but…. Not deep enough. I found the piano kind of distracting too…maybe coz it’s going over and over again… when I saw the screencaps of it’s PV I’m hoping for something FAR BETTER than this….like something can make me cry in instant coz the title and all… So the 1^st time I heard it I was like ‘Huh??’ I’m not saying this song is bad, it is easy listening, and I had tried to like it, but…*thinkinghard*…..Maybe because I read the lyric and seemed like he wrote it for a girl… or a boy?? Hahah... so I got pretty… ?jealous? About it…. Argghhh… somehow I felt angry… why can’t I like this song!!!?? This is Tarou’s song!!!! But…I don’t like it all that much!!!

04 Danse Macabre

Lyrics & music : tadashi

I’m hoping for a hardcore song when the intro played, then… mmmm… the bass is OK, … I find this song is weird at the beginning. But then… OMFG this song and the bass is fuckin’ awesome!!! And the …?Arabian? Effect is so cool… the bass is soooo heavy… TADASHI POWER!!! ^o^O and the ‘aaargh’ voices Taro made at the end… gaaahhh *faint*

05 Kaibutsu-kun

lyrics: ryutaro

music: akira

Almost similar with Danse macabre… maybe they’re connected… the opening and chorus made me wanna dance. AGAIN !!! The bass is still heavy here… and OMG!!! Growling Taro!!!! *picturingitinstantly* *nosebleedanddies* XD the way Tarou’s ?rapping? is great, but funny too ^.^

06 Crackpot

lyrics: ryutaro

music: akira

Somehow I love the drum here, it is simple but… and the guitar wins too!! Taro sings like he’s just woken up after one year full of sleeping… but it’s good^^ somehow I felt like he’s laying beside my on my bed and hushing me to sleep…. ^///^ maybe I’ll try it next…if the guitar is softer it’s just perfect…( to guide me into dream world). But it is a good song! I like it! So this is when Akira composed a softer song… love it ^^

07 Yuki Hotaru

Lyrics, music : ryutaro

I LOVE the way he sings this;

‘Ame tokidoki yuki’

‘Ai tokidoki uso…’

I’m always freeze when he sang it… and seep them into my heart. The chorus part is just ok, but I like the other parts better. Great song! The orchestra making it sweet too *melting* I think I saw fireflies….

08 Comic Youth

Lyrics & music : akira

Somehow I always find myself hated when Taro says ‘Uso’… to many ‘Uso’ in this song! It’s distracting! , so I think I hate the lyrics… no offense to Akira… but when he sings ‘sugisatte’ I love it, so… this song is ok for me… not really my fav, but it is good.

09 Harienju

lyrics: ryutaro

music: tadashi

AAhhh… the way Taro sings melt me away… he’s whispering into my ears… *///* somehow it made me remember Sangatsu Itsuka… which I love. Dashi creates a song that match with Taro so much…. I love to hear it when he catch his breath…and going crazy when Taro sings ‘PISUTORUU ga hoshiii…’ so desperately… it heard like he wants to shoots himself… and ‘nukenai ya’ at the end… it’s like he’s saying goodbye…

nooo…. I’ll die with you then XD

10 Uwa no Sora

Lyrics, music : tadashi

This song is HAPPY *imaginingDashijumpingaround* a perfect song in the morning when you open your bedroom window and going to start the day with positivities !!! O^o^O

11 Yume no shima

Lyrics, music : ryutaro

Kind of similar with Aoi Tori in some ways… like a happy version of Aoi Tori… I love the chorus part… so mellow and heartbreaking… and the way Taro sings it… so soft and warm…*meltsfromlove* I had weaknesses for Taro’s songs… they really squeeze my heart…seriously. “Hai! Issho ni ikou!”^^

12. Secret Track

Omg what a heavy drum and guitar… and Taro harassing his throat!!!!!!!!!!! A perfect song for moshing…. I want to saw him DOING IT IN CONCERT!!!!!!!! Seriously!!!!!!!!!!! I want too see it so much till I could die!!!!!!!!! And the way he screamed and pouring his heart all out at the end screams…. I cried. I think I can feel all his pains the so I cried… and I imagined him screams like that….he sounded like he has been repressing all of his depression…

A SERIOUS THOUGHTS

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

8:46:02 PM

Ne… I have thoughts lately…

Serious thoughts.

I always think that I never found what I really want to be…

I’m like a baby inside a womb that wants to see the world.

I know I can’t found this world coz I’m still inside,, and I find nothing but darkness. I can’t see anything I want to see and I want to feel.

It’s from the small things;

“ I don’t want to go to college… but why I have to?”

“I don’t like economics… but why I had to study?”

“why people had to study hard to be success in life?”

“do we live in this world to be gain success, fame and money?”

“why I have to say things I don’t want to say?”

“why I have to sleep at night and wake up in the morning?”

Then it comes to this question in the end…

“who said that I have to do those things I don’t want to do?”

Then I saw people in this world… most of them live in routines… wake up in the morning, go to work, study, socialize, spend so many times in the traffic jam, go home, tired, and go get some sleep, then woke up again…

Why that happened?

Where is our freedom?

I don’t want to be like them. That’s not living.

That’s walking robots that are made to make money.

Why do people live in a system that human themselves made?

-you have to study hard to be success-

Why? What is success for?

-you have to obey the rules-

why? Don’t human has hearts? We have to obey the rules to differ good and bad? Isn’t that only made our feelings dull and wry?

And why… I’m still living in this kind of living?

Then my parents come to the scene.

They’re my obstacles…

But not because I hate them, it’s because I love and think about them I’m still here,

And because I grown up in this kind situation and be raised inside it and become dependent to this system.

Then when I said these thoughts… the answer I got is;

“God… just think rationally! Be logical!”

Then this question comes again;

“Be logical? Why? Is human live to think rationally? Logically? Didn’t human created to feel? To love? To imagine?

It’s not I’m saying that think rationally is bad, but to ALWAYS think rationally is just so…

Not human.

The when a human think not rationally, people started to uncertain about their sanity.

But they themselves, who live in a cage they made on their own, thinking they’re sane.

A bird that flying freely in the air is an insane bird

And a bird that locked themselves inside the cage is a sane one.

I wonder who’s sane and insane.

I saw those lights on the streets…

They’re beautiful… but still… they’re seemed fake.

And when I saw the droplets of rain falls inside my palm, I started to wonder…

Until when nature smiles to us?

With everything we’ve done?

Those tall buildings… they overlord us all. They’re fake, and it seemed like human enjoy living in facade.

And maybe I do too.

But at least… I can think about this, and I’m thankful that I’m still sane…

And I want to be born and see the world.

~Juwd~

Proof of my love

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

10:36:53 PM

I’ve said it JUST yesterday…

Let me tell you the story from the very beginning…

I spent my time at the bookstore and when I’m walking out there’s a small stall to make a custom-made bracelet with names on it…. actuallt that stall already there for about 5 years and I’ve known about it and walk pas it about the 12^th time in my life but this is the 1^st time I stop there and ask about the price and all (I spent about 20minutes to asking only ^^;) then I started to calculate if I buy the very pretty light blue colored basic bracelet which cost 300yen with R_Y_U_T_A_R_O name on it, which cost 55yen a letter, so the total is 685yen, added with about 100yen more for additional accessories…

I DID IT.

When I’m face to face with the counter attendant, I felt so excited and asking so many question AGAIN. but since she’s so nice, she just laugh and answer it all… wuv her©

I’ve decided from the very beginning that it’ll be lite blue for the bracelet (there’re black, pink and green…) at 1^st I hesitate between black or blue but since blue is more Tarou-ish…^^;

Then she asked me what name to make, so I write carefully and slowly;

R Y U T A R O U

She(S) : “Whoa… the name is sooo long…!”^^

Me(M) : “Yes… but it is the name soo…”

S : “Any nicknames?”

M : “Uhnn~~” (Should it be Tarou…?But I still want it ‘Ryutarou’…Tarou sounds like someone else’s name…) Ryutarou is alrite.”

S : (taking out the letter beads) “Is it your name?”

M : (WTF…!? DO I look like a Japanese!? “Nonono… “

S : “From where? This Ryutarou…?”

M : “Japan.” *BIGBIGBIGGRIN* (“Hell yeah… I felt like buying a b’day present for my Japanese boyfriend ^_________________________^)

Then she starts arranging it (Grr now when I think of it I should do it myself…)

Then WE decided that we should took out the last ‘U’ coz it’s too long (what’s with her? She should’ve asked me to COUNT it coz it’ll be more expensive.. but she’s real nice… I’ve never felt this happy with a stranger ^^;) so the total is 760 yen….

There’s my heart© *boink*

Maybe that looked sappy and shabby… but I love it so much…

When you lift it up to the light the letters shine blue… kirei.

Well… realizing that the letters can be take out freely I want to put something hard to make it permanent… but I think it’ll just break it ~_~;

Then I just realized that maybe….

(sappy things comes next)

I want to make it so I’ll never forget him… I’m a type of person who got bored VERY quickly… even all of my friends said that…but he’s done so much to help me mentally so… I’ll felt so guilty if only one day I forget about him. Well he doesn’t know me at all… so it wouldn’t affect him, but… I want it. I felt it. Every single day. So one day I’ll look at that bangle and can once again laugh and cry, even when Pura has disbanded and Arimura Ryutarou is nowhere to find… I’ll remember him, his voice, and his words, and will still keep him safe in my heart. 1000 thank you s will never be enough, Tarou-san…

I can’t believe I’m a sanguine – choleric ^^; maybe I answer uncorrectly at the tests??? well… let’s just call it Tarou Melancholic Virus… TMV…!!?? Whoa… scary.

~Juwd~

Suimin'Yaku

SUIMIN’YAKU
Sleeping Drugs

(Morning, 02.08)

Glass Window

Reflected film

Sharp Breath

I can’t sleep

Cold water

Sleeping pills

I’m in trance…

(Morning, 02.04)

Reacted over-sensitively

Inside the darkness

Hugging my sanctuary tightly

Not awaken from dreams

Not so long after, I’ll fall

Feeling dizzy,

Hallucinating that you are here by my side

Together far inside the prairie

Trapped inside the sell once more…

Because the fantasy gives me pain, I don’t want it

The bedroom ceiling above me kept on spinning

…Gaze endlessly

(Morning, 03.10)

Not awaken from dreams

Not so long after, I’ll fall

Feeling dizzy,

Hallucinating that you are here by my side

The gusty sky, ray of the moon

The grasses sway gracefully

Drunk by the waves,

You and I quietly flew away

Together far inside the prairie

History in finding Pura and Ryutarou

Monday, April 02, 2007

7:27:43 PM

Now I’m being noisy, writing and writing again…

After I saw him, I think everything will never be the same again.

Lately I think… I’ve act beyond my rational mind.

I don’t have internet connection at home so I have to go to int.café that cost me A LOT to find his pics and download their PVs… and I even planning to build a site for him that’ll cost a lot of money and time too… but I never really think about that seriously, even I lost all my money. I only saw it as an duty that I must do for him. I don’t know why. I’m just being so irrational.

Then I waste my full time in home playing his voice for 24hours… I’ve tried to overcame this and I’m succeed, but I always felt most at ease when his voice played. I felt I’m living when he sings.

OMG what’s with his voice???? Why I love it so much and I think I can’t live without it??? why????

And in my country, CD Piracy is out of question. They’re everywhere and when they caught, they just solve everything by money. And since our living cost compared to another country is very high, buying an original CD is almost impossible for average-college-student-who’s-not-working-yet-coz-her-parents-ask-her-to-study-well-1^st-and-she’s-sick-of-studying-either LIKE ME… so there are many stores who pirate Japanese Stars and sell them… and maybe half of Japanese freaks in Indonesia know Anime, JRock or Jpop from burned CDs, VCDs and DVDs 1^st… I know Pura from a burned compilation of Jrock PVs… ~_~;

Ahem… the point is… just when I heard 12songs of Pura from burned CD compilation:

Planetarium

Hontou no uso

Akai Kutsu

Gerbera

Angelfish

Sangatsu Itsuka

Honjitsu wa Seiten nari

Baka Ni Natta Noni

Psycho Garden

Snow Flower

Yuki Hotaru

Uwa no Sora

And 3 PVs:

Melancholic

Mizuiro Girlfriend

Aoi Tori

I yell in my room all alone that I’ll save my money and order their Original CD!!!! 0^o^0

I mean… I’ve never do that before coz the fact is: I don’t have money. But this time my love conquered it all. They deserved the best for their music…

So I started to buy KuroTent2-still pirated VCD- to know more about them and I just love Ryutarou so much more. But I SWEAR I’ll order the original! Then I download their albums and CDs coz I think I’ll die if I don’t have more of them which COST ME SO MUCH….

Then again, when I received my money for a week from my mom :

150.000 rupiahs, about 17 US$ or 1500 yen…

The 1^st thing across my mind when the money touches my hand is to rush to the mall and made a custom-made bracelet with Ryutarou’s name, which cost about 800yen.

I must be crazy.

Let me tell you the story from the very beginning…

I spent my time at the bookstore and when I’m walking out there’s a small stall to make a custom-made bracelet with names on it…. actuallt that stall already there for about 5 years and I’ve known about it and walk pas it about the 12^th time in my life but this is the 1^st time I stop there and ask about the price and all (I spent about 20minutes to asking only ^^;) then I started to calculate if I buy the very pretty light blue colored basic bracelet which cost 300yen with R_Y_U_T_A_R_O name on it, which cost 55yen a letter, so the total is 685yen, added with about 100yen more for additional accessories…

And I’m thinking about it for 2weeks until now.. like ‘I want that bracelet’ …. That’s scary. Not because that pretty bracelet, but the RYUTARO name on it… I’ll be so happy when his name’s on my wrist and being one with my vein pulse….

Gah. I’m such a maniac.

But I think it’s different… not the kind of maniac thing… but it is softer like your heart gets warm when you saw his name there and made you smile… that kind of feeling…I’ve never wanted an object so badly in my life and thinking about it for 2 weeks straight… this is the very 1^st time.

So I think I’ll do it. I’ll make that bracelet with all of the money I have.

Have you ever felt so frustrated that you love someone that much but to have him is VERY impossible, and when you tried to get him out of your head you just can’t?

That’s not fair…

The point is… I’m sad that I missed so much about him and Pura… but I try to write what I feel and still learning… from you, my senior Kurages ^^

~Juwd~

His voice help me to understand life better

Monday, April 02, 2007

6:53:51 PM

Listening to Suimin Yaku over and over again rite now and just can’t get enough of the beauty of Tarou-san’s voice… I can just go on and on

BUT

My real problem is I have a task for tomorrow and I’m not doing anything yet. I took a major in Economy Management and I’ve never felt such a burden before but now… I felt like I won’t do it at all. I’ve always do my tasks before, but now… everything seemed different. I’ve read that many people change the way they live after listen to Tarou’s voice, and now I think it start to work on me too.

After hearing his voice, I spent my times to think. Even I’m not doing anything, I think about everything. And about my future too, without I realized. After hearing his voice for weeks, I started to think what my true goals in life… and I got an answer : to do a work that doing something precious to other people, and to know more about this world. At 1^st I’m thinking abut social jobs, but I’m not the type of person who can easily letting go pretty things and I have to buy it with sufficient money, so… then travel guide pop up in my head. I want to be a travel guide… I can see the world and capture so many things with my eyes and my camera, and brings people to beautiful places and see happiness on their faces.

But then again, my mom not agree with my decision. Grh. Then about language… I’ve found out that I’m the sucks at working under pressure OR studying under pressure so I love to learn language by autodidact. As a result… I’ve never took English course… but you see my English… good or bad…? Bad…? T_T

I should’ve took major I art or design… I really took a wrong way in life and I’m 1 now… I’m not young anymore. Grr.. I shouldn’t obey my parents so much.

Now when I think again… my TRUE goal is:

To live in beautiful place, live a peaceful life with uncomplicated job but I love it so much, a kind husband and lovely kids.

Do I hope too much?

I’ve never imagine to be really rich, and I don’t want that to happen too, coz I think being rich is tiring and full of lies…. And sent me straight to hell coz the temptation is HUGE. ^^;

So I wonder… if I continue to study Japanese language then go there, took an easy job then rent a small but comfortable room, saving my money… wouldn’t that be beautiful? It didn’t have to be Japan… some country with English language will be nice too… ahh… sometimes I think… I have to make an extreme pace to change my life. For example… I’m sure I don’t have enough bravery to go there on my own, but if I’ve never do it, I’ll stuck in here forever. I live only once, and I’m not gonna stuck in things I don’t like. I want to find my own way of living.

But then again.. how about my parents?

Hhh… there’re so many things to think about, but the 1^st thing I have to think about is MY FUCKIN TASK FOR TOMORROW

Grrr…. I felt like just burn down my College so I have reason not to go there.

~Juwd~